A list of things for discussion this month. Raging rivers, themed dinners, tubular furniture and adjusting your ideas to your budget. Plus why I f**king HATE Connections and HRT options post cancer.
Ha yes that was a good day for him! Yes - sometimes it’s hard as they’re US based links but I still find even the non US links hard! My brain doesn’t work that way. I need a game plan of some description but I haven’t worked that out yet 😂
Your reference to connections made me smile - every morning, before we get up, me and Andy do connections, Wordle, Quordle classic and Quordle extreme. He also does worldle and flagle - yes, he's a nerd!
Some of the connections are so tenuous and also so American - stick with it - you'll become addicted. My Wordle starter word is always based on what I'm seeing, thinking or feeling - got it in one the one day when it was "rainy" 😊
I haven’t even heard of half of these! Andy is hardcore 🙌🏻 I’ve never got it in one - changing your first word daily! That’s brave, maybe I should do this 🤔 happy weekend Deborah x
So with you on house dreams vs budget. I wanted to take out one corner of the living room and replace it with a glass wall as that would be the best view of the garden. My builder (who was lovely) just laughed at me, knowing full well what my budget was and how we’d already squeezed every last drop out of it. So new patio doors it was. But I have just had the garden completely re-done so the view has improved enormously!
Everything just costs so much doesn’t it! Ah amazing - just in time for the summer too 🪴 Yes, I feel like my plans get smaller daily 😂 but it does make me prioritise and also I’ve a separate list for things that I will do next year - one step at a time!
So much. Plus new ideas sprout in our minds all the time don’t they?! And thank you, I’ve struggled with my weird garden for 10 years now and am so glad I’ve taken the plunge, despite the eye-watering cost. I could not be more thrilled and who needs a pension pot anyway (😭).
If you don't mind cheating there is a Nyt connections hint page I occasionally use - you can have a general hint, another closer hint or the actual answer
I spy fennel turds! In other turd based news, came here to say magnesium gives me a horrific upset tummy - wondered if anyone else had experienced it/had a solution as I sleep much better with it xx
Fellow oestrogen + breast cancer woman here who shares your frustration & experience. No helpful advice I’m afraid, but things improved massively once I stopped taking tamoxifen. I drink sparingly these days because it messes me up so much, hot flushes are much better but I’ll defo check out the peppermint gel capsule. Thank you!
God I hated the tamoxifen. I did five years and before that zolodex which was the work of the devil. Constantly swollen fingers for years. I find the better the wine I drink the less the hot flushes 😂 I think it’s the sugar content
I love your honesty about having to scale back your plans for the new house, which will make your renovations EVEN MORE exciting than they already were! There's nothing fun about hearing about someone doing up a house when money is no object - the challenges and compromises are the good bits!
I actually do quite agree with you! It wouldn’t be nearly as fun I don’t think if you could just do it all with no worries. It’s a process though isn’t it, working it all out xx
Honestly, I totally feel your both/and mother angst - 💯 get it!! Gah. And re (non-)HRT, I had this exact conversation with a dear friend on WhatsApp just last week, she mentioned sage as super helpful for flashes/nights - she can’t do the supplements which in addition have phytoestrogens in, for the same reason as you - but Vogel do tablets and drops? In case of vague interest. I’ve been back and forth myself with HRT, so totally understand, it is super hard. 💗💗💗💗
Sage! I haven’t heard of that am going to google now. I don’t even know what phytoestrogens are am googling now thank you this is new info to me. And I know lots of people who even though they can take hrt don’t get on with it at all which must be deeply frustrating!
I feel like we need to compare notes!! So the phytoestrogens mimic the oestrogen in HRT and so those who can’t take HRT because of that have to be careful as obviously risk the same effect, as I understand it (as with my friend who was treated for breast cancer, so she steers clear) and ditto for me for benign (thankfully) fibroids and other such issues (polyps, sorry TMI, but in spirit of us sharing this stuff, last 10/15 years of surgeries and bleeds and stuff) and I’ve back and forth with HRT and CANNOT get along with it now (just off again!), and equally frustrated like you as want to be proactive about future health, and also addressing anxiety/hot flushes/other stuff. I’m really trying to really crack the nutrition/supps/fitness alternatives, for bone and muscle loss, cognitive stuff (sage is connected there, too, with the hot flush stuff), and I honestly feel like starting a new Substack for those of us who want to do this, without HRT route, to support, encourage, share - OK, rambling to the max, but SO with you, and so glad you raised this. Sending 💗!!
100% with you on both Connections and HRT post breast cancer. It's the brain fog and hot flushes for me. Would be interested to know how you get on with the anti depressant.... maybe if I cure my brain fog I'll be better at Connections?! (I won't be because it is actually stupid - I have a 41% win rate so you're better than me!!)
I’ll report back. Ella is doing a medical degree and according to her it takes six weeks to kick in. And arghhh connections 😂 I can’t stop myself doing it though! It’s like torture 😂
Ah would have love to have kept them but we are much tighter for space so we need it for other things. But fear not - we took it apart and it’s just been collected by a social initiative for woodworking workshops and they’re going to use it for their students. Circle of life 💫
I don’t want to add to your worries, but PLEASE PLEASE remind Leo and his friends to beware of water- under currents and cold water shock. We had the police in our village yesterday afternoon as tragically a young man drowned just upriver. So shocking. The river is incredibly low but there are deep pools, currents, cold water and people just underestimate it. My own kids spent every summer at the river and it is a great way to have fun.
I dropped water off to the group of young people and adults waiting for hours for news whilst the emergency services looked in the river. Tragic. Cried my eyes out last night xx
I haven’t yet tried Wordle - something about people’s obsession with it unnerved me!! Says the woman who before getting up this morning spent 20 minutes doing Wordscapes puzzles, so I guess I have my own obsession😆
I think you’re very wise about not going over the top with house renovations - I think once you have the kitchen designed and styled the way you want it, the dream of a glass roof will recede! I am still puzzling over what to do about my minuscule windowless box off the dining area kitchen, but have moderated my initial thinking as I’ve made some modifications which make it better. It is going to be a design dilemma for you soon though 😍
Yes I agree - I was full of inspiration but then reality took hold! Wordle is good Judy, try it! And yes send over your dilemma I am here to help 💫 have a super weekend x
Connections - I am now good at it (unless the link is US sports things) but it took months of staring at it in complete bafflement and rage. Don't give up!
Dr Louise Newson, insta @menopause_doctor has some very interesting information and perspectives on her you tube regarding HRT after BC (all types). Obviously it's a very personal choice depending on your own experience, risk, fears etc but it's definitely worth a listen as she and many doctors are now coming around to shared descion making on HRT after BC, why shouldn't we have the choice and own the risk? There isn't any up to date research to say HRT contributes to BC recurrance. I take HRT, have strong family history and am waiting for a biopsy after a recent mammogram. I wouldnt want to give up the HRT as I'm more terrified of osteoporosis, dementia and quality of life (I'm a carer for my daughter) my mum had years of truly awful pain and disability from osteoporosis which isn't treatable, but BC is. That's just my view, I understand other women will definitely not feel the same, but I do believe we should have the choice. x
Also Dani @menopauseandcancer on you tube has an excellent series on HRT after BC
It was my consultant’s view that debilitating symptoms of menopause vs the small risk of recurrence of BC from HRT was a case by case medical history decision and that women should absolutely have a choice if an option for them and it meant they got their life back by taking it in low doses. Sending best wishes for your tests x
This is very interesting. There is much to be said about being able to make these decisions yourself about your own body and health, especially if you are well informed and researched.
I started with Wordle but got bored so doing NYT Spelling Bee instead which is fun and I like to challenge my brain first thing in the morning. You can jumble up the letters which helps ‘see’ words but more fun than that is to hit ‘More’ and then ‘Community’ where lots of helpful people post clues to forming words from the letters of the day. Cheating? Well, maybe a bit. No-one posts the answers but the clues are often amusing. Try it. One day I’ll get to Genius level without using the clues. Oh, and it’s American spelling so it’s favor, not favour, which I always forget.
I too have had the same Wordle starting word since the lad first created the game for his GF and subsequently sold it to the NYT for $millions.
Remember, Connections is US based, so it’s natural it makes no sense to us sometimes!
Ha yes that was a good day for him! Yes - sometimes it’s hard as they’re US based links but I still find even the non US links hard! My brain doesn’t work that way. I need a game plan of some description but I haven’t worked that out yet 😂
Your reference to connections made me smile - every morning, before we get up, me and Andy do connections, Wordle, Quordle classic and Quordle extreme. He also does worldle and flagle - yes, he's a nerd!
Some of the connections are so tenuous and also so American - stick with it - you'll become addicted. My Wordle starter word is always based on what I'm seeing, thinking or feeling - got it in one the one day when it was "rainy" 😊
I haven’t even heard of half of these! Andy is hardcore 🙌🏻 I’ve never got it in one - changing your first word daily! That’s brave, maybe I should do this 🤔 happy weekend Deborah x
And you, Lisa x
So with you on house dreams vs budget. I wanted to take out one corner of the living room and replace it with a glass wall as that would be the best view of the garden. My builder (who was lovely) just laughed at me, knowing full well what my budget was and how we’d already squeezed every last drop out of it. So new patio doors it was. But I have just had the garden completely re-done so the view has improved enormously!
Everything just costs so much doesn’t it! Ah amazing - just in time for the summer too 🪴 Yes, I feel like my plans get smaller daily 😂 but it does make me prioritise and also I’ve a separate list for things that I will do next year - one step at a time!
So much. Plus new ideas sprout in our minds all the time don’t they?! And thank you, I’ve struggled with my weird garden for 10 years now and am so glad I’ve taken the plunge, despite the eye-watering cost. I could not be more thrilled and who needs a pension pot anyway (😭).
Haha I say this to Joe all the time 😂 and your garden will bring you so much joy it’s worth it xx
If you don't mind cheating there is a Nyt connections hint page I occasionally use - you can have a general hint, another closer hint or the actual answer
Is there! I think they would kick me out the group if I did that 😂 but well worth knowing thank you!
I spy fennel turds! In other turd based news, came here to say magnesium gives me a horrific upset tummy - wondered if anyone else had experienced it/had a solution as I sleep much better with it xx
Ha yes! I love those. And oh really! I haven’t had any side effects have you tried the powder?
Ooh no I’ll look into it, thank youuu x
Fellow oestrogen + breast cancer woman here who shares your frustration & experience. No helpful advice I’m afraid, but things improved massively once I stopped taking tamoxifen. I drink sparingly these days because it messes me up so much, hot flushes are much better but I’ll defo check out the peppermint gel capsule. Thank you!
God I hated the tamoxifen. I did five years and before that zolodex which was the work of the devil. Constantly swollen fingers for years. I find the better the wine I drink the less the hot flushes 😂 I think it’s the sugar content
I love your honesty about having to scale back your plans for the new house, which will make your renovations EVEN MORE exciting than they already were! There's nothing fun about hearing about someone doing up a house when money is no object - the challenges and compromises are the good bits!
I actually do quite agree with you! It wouldn’t be nearly as fun I don’t think if you could just do it all with no worries. It’s a process though isn’t it, working it all out xx
Honestly, I totally feel your both/and mother angst - 💯 get it!! Gah. And re (non-)HRT, I had this exact conversation with a dear friend on WhatsApp just last week, she mentioned sage as super helpful for flashes/nights - she can’t do the supplements which in addition have phytoestrogens in, for the same reason as you - but Vogel do tablets and drops? In case of vague interest. I’ve been back and forth myself with HRT, so totally understand, it is super hard. 💗💗💗💗
Sage! I haven’t heard of that am going to google now. I don’t even know what phytoestrogens are am googling now thank you this is new info to me. And I know lots of people who even though they can take hrt don’t get on with it at all which must be deeply frustrating!
I feel like we need to compare notes!! So the phytoestrogens mimic the oestrogen in HRT and so those who can’t take HRT because of that have to be careful as obviously risk the same effect, as I understand it (as with my friend who was treated for breast cancer, so she steers clear) and ditto for me for benign (thankfully) fibroids and other such issues (polyps, sorry TMI, but in spirit of us sharing this stuff, last 10/15 years of surgeries and bleeds and stuff) and I’ve back and forth with HRT and CANNOT get along with it now (just off again!), and equally frustrated like you as want to be proactive about future health, and also addressing anxiety/hot flushes/other stuff. I’m really trying to really crack the nutrition/supps/fitness alternatives, for bone and muscle loss, cognitive stuff (sage is connected there, too, with the hot flush stuff), and I honestly feel like starting a new Substack for those of us who want to do this, without HRT route, to support, encourage, share - OK, rambling to the max, but SO with you, and so glad you raised this. Sending 💗!!
100% with you on both Connections and HRT post breast cancer. It's the brain fog and hot flushes for me. Would be interested to know how you get on with the anti depressant.... maybe if I cure my brain fog I'll be better at Connections?! (I won't be because it is actually stupid - I have a 41% win rate so you're better than me!!)
I’ll report back. Ella is doing a medical degree and according to her it takes six weeks to kick in. And arghhh connections 😂 I can’t stop myself doing it though! It’s like torture 😂
Love that you’re rethinking what needs to be done with your lovely new home.
Happy to hear you’re keeping the built-in wardrobe.
Might I suggest you save the bookcases upstairs too? It might not always stay a bedroom, and someday you might convert it to your sanctuary.
Ah would have love to have kept them but we are much tighter for space so we need it for other things. But fear not - we took it apart and it’s just been collected by a social initiative for woodworking workshops and they’re going to use it for their students. Circle of life 💫
I don’t want to add to your worries, but PLEASE PLEASE remind Leo and his friends to beware of water- under currents and cold water shock. We had the police in our village yesterday afternoon as tragically a young man drowned just upriver. So shocking. The river is incredibly low but there are deep pools, currents, cold water and people just underestimate it. My own kids spent every summer at the river and it is a great way to have fun.
I dropped water off to the group of young people and adults waiting for hours for news whilst the emergency services looked in the river. Tragic. Cried my eyes out last night xx
Omg yes this is exactly why I am so stressed about it. That’s horrific so so so sad poor family and poor boy ❤️❤️❤️
Thanks Lisa. My day wouldn’t be complete without a recreational rant about the obscurity of Connections in our family ‘NYT games’ chat!
Ha! I like trying to make my brain work first thing in the morning but I struggle 😂
I do hope the fluoxetine works for you.
I haven’t yet tried Wordle - something about people’s obsession with it unnerved me!! Says the woman who before getting up this morning spent 20 minutes doing Wordscapes puzzles, so I guess I have my own obsession😆
I think you’re very wise about not going over the top with house renovations - I think once you have the kitchen designed and styled the way you want it, the dream of a glass roof will recede! I am still puzzling over what to do about my minuscule windowless box off the dining area kitchen, but have moderated my initial thinking as I’ve made some modifications which make it better. It is going to be a design dilemma for you soon though 😍
Yes I agree - I was full of inspiration but then reality took hold! Wordle is good Judy, try it! And yes send over your dilemma I am here to help 💫 have a super weekend x
Connections - I am now good at it (unless the link is US sports things) but it took months of staring at it in complete bafflement and rage. Don't give up!
Having said that I can't get past the yellow today so IGNORE ME.
I have been doing it alongside wordle for probably three months and today I didn’t get a single line 😑 Just an outrage.
Dr Louise Newson, insta @menopause_doctor has some very interesting information and perspectives on her you tube regarding HRT after BC (all types). Obviously it's a very personal choice depending on your own experience, risk, fears etc but it's definitely worth a listen as she and many doctors are now coming around to shared descion making on HRT after BC, why shouldn't we have the choice and own the risk? There isn't any up to date research to say HRT contributes to BC recurrance. I take HRT, have strong family history and am waiting for a biopsy after a recent mammogram. I wouldnt want to give up the HRT as I'm more terrified of osteoporosis, dementia and quality of life (I'm a carer for my daughter) my mum had years of truly awful pain and disability from osteoporosis which isn't treatable, but BC is. That's just my view, I understand other women will definitely not feel the same, but I do believe we should have the choice. x
Also Dani @menopauseandcancer on you tube has an excellent series on HRT after BC
It was my consultant’s view that debilitating symptoms of menopause vs the small risk of recurrence of BC from HRT was a case by case medical history decision and that women should absolutely have a choice if an option for them and it meant they got their life back by taking it in low doses. Sending best wishes for your tests x
Sounds like a good consultant Claire. Thank you 🤞🏻 All the best to you
This is very interesting. There is much to be said about being able to make these decisions yourself about your own body and health, especially if you are well informed and researched.
This is super interesting - am going to go and find both of those now. Thank you Kay! And hope the biopsy goes okay. X
Thank you x
I started with Wordle but got bored so doing NYT Spelling Bee instead which is fun and I like to challenge my brain first thing in the morning. You can jumble up the letters which helps ‘see’ words but more fun than that is to hit ‘More’ and then ‘Community’ where lots of helpful people post clues to forming words from the letters of the day. Cheating? Well, maybe a bit. No-one posts the answers but the clues are often amusing. Try it. One day I’ll get to Genius level without using the clues. Oh, and it’s American spelling so it’s favor, not favour, which I always forget.
I don’t know that one am going to find it! And that doesn’t sound like cheating to me, just a clue 😂 happy weekend Tricia xx