How We Holiday: Five Days In New York
The low down. One husband, three children including one in a leg cast who had to use crutches.
Joe and I first visited New York way back in 1999 and we haven’t returned together since. This was in the days when ‘last minute deals’ were still a thing and we managed to find return flights plus three nights in a Hotel just off Madison Square Gardens for the princely sum of £270 each. FACT. I can barely believe it myself, especially considering that you wouldn’t even get three courses for a family of five in a York restaurant for that sum of cash. Ah, the olden days. We arrived at the Hotel Pennsylvania, an establishment that was most definitely past its prime and upon check in, were told that they had overbooked and that we would need to be put in the dorm rooms reserved for air hostesses. After clarifying that there would be no air hostesses in there (much to Joe’s disappointment), we opened the door to a four bedroom apartment with nylon frilled fitted coverlets and a toilet that was fully windowed, non curtained and looked out on to the next apartment block who had a clear view of bare bottoms. It wasn’t the most salubrious of accommodation and had more than a hint of Hotel Cecil about it, to the point that even going into the bathroom took nerves of steel in case there was someone hiding behind the shower curtain with a machete.
We had no kids, no responsibilities and hardcore jet lag so we spent all mornings in our static nylon frilled bed and then toured the City in the afternoon. It was April, freezing cold to a level that I had never before felt and St Patricks Day weekend so the Empire State Building was bathed in green. We did ALL the tourist things. Went to Tiffanys where Joe bought me a locket bracelet (cool thing of the moment, IYKYK), rode a horse drawn carriage through Central Park, went to the top of the World Trade Centre, ate New York cheesecake, shopped in Century 21 and Bloomingdales and marvelled at the overboard goldness of Trump Towers. 14 years later, I returned by myself to visit my friend Sam who was living in the City. She introduced me to the other side of New York, early rising to walk for miles each day, admiring flower shops and visiting the MoMA, lusting after everything in Crate & Barrel before spending the evenings going out for delicious drinks and dinners at her favourite places. I think you could say that over the course of the two visits I covered most bases, ha.
Anyway, fast forward to earlier this year and with the knowledge that our children are fast growing up (in fact, two of them are not even children anymore but old habits die hard), we decided that we would take them to New York for a good active walking holiday to see it for themselves. We booked the flights, found the perfect Hotel and ordered the Lonely Planet guide. We were good to go. Until Leo fell down the grassy mound outside the M&S Food Hall at Vanguard Shopping Centre and broke his ankle, godammit. Once the diagnosis was made in A&E, Joe called me with the news and I am not ashamed to say that the first thing I asked was ‘but can he travel?’. Rather fortuitously, he could (albeit with a boot) but it soon became clear that with a crutches laden child, it wasn’t going to be quite the active walking break that we had planned. In panic, I booked him a knee scooter to be delivered to the Hotel so that he could wheel along with us. However, Leo took one look and refused to board it, saying he would rather chop off his own head than be seen dead on it (in fairness, it was giving off Madge from Benidorm vibes). Choosing to endure the entire holiday on his crutches, his refusal meant that he was unable to complain, knowing that if he did the scooter would be thrown back at him. But he actually did very well - we may not have done the predicted 25k steps a day but we certainly did half of that and he managed to keep up brilliantly. Poor Leo.
So back to business - where did we stay and what did we do? Did I manage to bribe my family to go to the MoMA with me? Did I realise my MDLNY dreams and track down Ryan Serhant? (again, IYKYK) And more importantly, did I manage to bypass everyone and frequent the homeware shops? Here’s the lowdown.